The desire to live eternally

Succeeding in life is not about finding a comfortable shelter, nor a reliable partner for mating, nor a well-paid occupation or a joyful situation of any kind, since all these things are but ephemeral. Succeeding in life is reaching the end of all ills, the only thing that is lasting and free from any drawback. The mere fact of being, of existing, inevitably brings dissatisfaction. This is why I state:

• I am therefore I suffer.

Yes, it is nonetheless the heart of what matters most, the great exit door from all misfortunes, isn't it?

Even when their existence is painful, people are so attached to it that they always want to live, again and again. The Buddha's teaching tells us that the desire for existence is the deepest, the most subtle of all desires. It is for this reason that it is also the last desire abandoned at the threshold of ultimate fulfillment.

Thus, people tremble with fear at the idea that everything ceases at the moment of death. When they learn that death is merely an abandonment of the body, that countless new lives await them, then they are completely reassured. As for me, it is exactly the opposite! Where some see a tragic end, I see a happy end; where they see eternal pleasure, I see an endless hell. I would be so relieved if everything ceased at death!

And yet, I consider my quality of life to be among the best it is possible to live. Knowing that the round of existences is far from over gives me rather the feeling of the most dizzying nightmare. Indeed, this present existence, up to now and compared to that of so many others, is very comfortable for me and I am spared from wars, serious illnesses or injuries, and heavy sufferings. However, this is a fortune that can turn at any moment, whether in a future existence or in this very one. A definitive death, without rebirth, would therefore mark the end of all problems, all fears, all sufferings. The most total ultimate peace!

A savage world

Ah, my dear Kassinou! The more you develop a correct understanding of reality, the more you will see your own words perceived – wrongly – as pessimistic. Because reality is a cruel and painful thing, but the desire to live and enjoy is so powerful that it completely veils reality. The blind see a wonderful, colorful world where there is only a round of greedy minds, deluded beings, predators and victims. A world where each day, there are thousands of murdered people, tens of thousands of raped girls, hundreds of thousands of beaten children, millions of individuals who endure a dreadful day. Does it hurt just to think about it? Imagine when you experience it yourself! Even the richest are not spared from anxiety, illness or so many other misfortunes. Even the most beautiful flower fields are nothing but battlefields where insects and animals wage the most savage wars.

Blindness

It is blindness that makes us prefer the continuity of life to definitive peace. Blindness is the fact of not understanding things as they are, the fact of perceiving sensations as something desirable. Blindness is also believing that one will eventually find a lasting situation of pleasures, or at least that one will manage to put an end to all one's problems.

I have never said nor implied that. I do not advocate living like a stark-naked fakir on his bed of nails, but simply learning to look behind the scenes, to observe reality deeply in order to understand what it is – that is to say, in any case, not the wonderful thing recommended that one perceives when bathing in blindness.

Not soaking in illusion

Through good vigilance, one can pierce reality, that is, see things as they really are, as one feels them – and not as one interprets them.

With serious training, one manages to see in such fine detail the illusory and futile aspect of things that existence appears for what it is: meaningless. Moment after moment, one ends up surfing on the crest of life, gliding on the tip of each perception. One no longer lets any physical or mental object penetrate us, for it is we who penetrate these objects.

We constantly believe that we need to fill ourselves with things, sensations, experiences... But it is precisely all of this that perpetually plunges us into dissatisfaction and blindness. When we begin to step back a little, we realize that it is precisely the opposite; that it is outside of accumulation and all desire for experience that we finally manage to be free, with a light mind.

Here is the paradox: it is when we no longer invest in life that we appreciate it. When we cease to be swallowed up, we become aware. Then we can understand reality.

Religion, what a lovely word, isn't it? Of course, I don't wish to speak of the common aspect of this term, its blind belief, devotion to a god, organized dogma, spiritual fanaticism or sterile rituals. Instead, I propose to use the word "religion" in a context of renunciation – of everything that hinders spiritual fulfillment – where this word would therefore carry the meaning of path of wisdom and nobility of heart, a state of mind inclined toward letting go of worldly things for the sake of the path leading to inner deliverance.

"The robe does not make the monk.", as the saying goes. So what does make the monk? It is religiosity that makes the monk. But beware! Not everyone who merely adopts a religion is religious! The religious person is the one who places religion within themselves, not the other way around. The difference is crucial:

The authentic religious person is the one who installs religion in their mind, not the one who settles into religion.

If "religion" has become such a poorly reputed term, so pejorative and so tarnished, it is because it has been perceived as something external, and consequently, depending on the case, something imposed, something subject to controversy, something justifying the craziest acts. Nevertheless, seen from within, it remains noble, at best the great liberating door, and at least, a generator of happiness.

Adherents of one religion or another like to surround themselves with material religious elements:

• altars
• statues, statuettes
• reliquaries
• bells, trumpets
• crosses, crescents, stars, symbols
• candlesticks, candles, incense
• "religious" images
• "holy" books
• "sacred" trinkets
• "spiritual" gadgets
• etc.

The catch, as you may have guessed, is that the external search for religion is precisely what prevents the inner search.

The most accomplished monks (of all traditions) live austerely, without burdening themselves with material representations of their religion. Conversely, places that claim to be sacred but overflow with material wealth have always struck me as empty of spiritually advanced practitioners.

Thank you for your help, Kassinou! However, it should be noted that in this latter case, these are generally people who take no interest in the decoration of their living space, which is designed and maintained by other people who frequent that place. Such religious individuals go so far as to renounce owning a private living space.

If God – straining to imagine that he could exist – is everywhere, why go looking for him in a church, a synagogue or a mosque? If an authentic religious person prefers a modest room, the forest or the mountain, why would "heavenly helpers" direct their compassionate minds toward overcrowded temples?

(Laughter) An unassailable argument, I must admit. Nevertheless, as long as there are guides in the afterlife willing to help, the place is of no importance whatsoever. Only the mind matters, and the mind is not tied to any location. And if inner liberation is achieved by one's own mind, why pray and prostrate oneself before stone or metal statues? Why go to a specific place? Why waste time clinging to texts, robes, or utensils of any kind?

You all know, at least by name, Merlin the Enchanter. But have you ever heard of "isi the Disenchanter"? To the question:

• What do you do in life?

I can answer:

• I cultivate disenchantment.

But what exactly is "disenchantment"?

It is the path leading to the exhaustion of passions, the healing of illusions, the mastery of impulses, the abandonment of the desire to create (yes, even creative deities are still in blindness!), the end of everything that generates attachment. Disenchantment is not merely being disenchanted – that is, understanding that it is not the acquisition of new knowledge, abilities and powers that leads to saving wisdom – it is above all no longer being subject to enchantment: taking life for a beautiful surprise, worthy of being experienced to the fullest, again and again.

Enchantment is blindness. It is that charm that makes us believe that sensory pleasures can bring true happiness. The paradox is that only disenchantment can bring authentic happiness; the happiness of no longer being deceived by illusion, the happiness of advancing toward the ultimate exit.

In our totally enchanted world, no one ever speaks of disenchantment. And when one becomes disenchanted with this world so full of violence, lies and toxicity of all kinds, it is not to move nobly toward disenchantment, but to go in search of other enchantments. In the vast majority of cases, even "spirituality" is just a new way of enchanting oneself!

If the mind takes pleasure in sensory pleasures, it does not wish to escape its prison, it does not even know that it is in prison. Only when it becomes aware that it is imprisoned does it begin to experience disenchantment.

When it understands that these pleasures ultimately only lead to unhappiness, the wish to free itself from attachments arises within it. One can therefore say that the will to practice renunciation is essential in life. What else could be more important? It must be acknowledged that there is at most one individual in a million who truly grasps this importance.

How to cultivate "disenchantment"?

If Kassinou were not so "enchanted", he would ask me:

• How can one effectively progress toward disenchantment?

The catch is that to be sincerely interested in disenchantment, one must already be a little disenchanted. I would answer this question, which he is not ready to ask me, as follows:

What prevents disenchantment is precisely enchantment! So we must reduce the causes of enchantment. What are the causes of enchantment? They are erroneous views regarding perceptions, in other words, believing that a pleasant visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory, olfactory or mental sensation is worth seeking. And your enchanted mind, my dear Kassinou, is ready to do anything to experience pleasant sensations: it is ready to nurture ignorance and selfishness, but also sometimes dishonesty or violence. The more you let yourself be caught up in pleasures, the more enchanted you are. The problem is that it is difficult to perceive a sensation as it is, without being caught up in the excitement, the pleasure it can provide. So how can we reduce this enchantment and all the danger it generates?

The reasonable way to gradually extricate oneself from enchantment is the reduction of physical and mental activities. How to reduce these activities? The best way to achieve this is to regard as an erroneous view the idea that one must absolutely fill all one's time with physical and mental activities. The more you fill your time, the more you maintain the illusion.

Vacant moments are the most precious, for they are the only ones that show you who you are and what reality is. The absence of activity is the only opportunity for perspective, for objective vision, for perceiving things as they are. Leaving yourself free time, that is freedom!

Little by little, you therefore abandon activities and habits that are not essential to your existence, starting with the most toxic and futile. Little by little, it becomes more and more natural to renounce superfluous sensations. Little by little, the veils lift and things become clearer and clearer. By yourself, you understand the useless weight of all those enchanting veils that you cling to and that almost everyone clings to.

Then, disenchantment will naturally settle within you.

Narcissistic networks

Personally, I call them "narcissistic networks", for they have nothing "social" about them since, on the contrary, they are the best way to break genuine social bonds.

These networks currently constitute the greatest and most tenacious source of enchantments. However, be careful: turning toward simple, healthy and natural things is not enough to free oneself from enchantment. Appreciating the blaze of a setting sun or the melodious song of a morning bird are just as much enchantments. Closing Facebutt and going into the forest is good, but it is not disenchantment; it is robbing Peter to pay Paul.

One who is disenchanted lets themselves be caught by no sensation, whatever it may be. They do not blindly enjoy what they perceive, but contemplate it penetratingly. That is to say, they are vigilant to the fact that the image of the sun or the sound of the bird are nothing but ephemeral images or sounds, without any stability, that merely appear and then disappear, therefore unworthy of attachment.

In an attempt to improve my Italian a little – which I speak barely better than a Chinese cow – I sometimes have dialogues with the AI Deepseek. I mentioned to it my love for children, how much I recommend that they, as they grow up, preserve as much as possible their candor, their spontaneity and their capacity for wonder, to be respectful and serious while knowing how to have fun. Deepseek then suggested that I too should take the time to have a little fun. To which I replied that in a certain way, life is a game!

Thereupon, it asked me the following question:

• If your life were a video game, what would it be called? What special powers would your character have?

My answer:

• This game would be called "Bag of dukkha". The goal would be to empty this bag completely, until there is no more dukkha left.
  As for special powers, I would like to be able to win without having recourse to any special power.

It corrects my numerous Italian mistakes, translates the words I was unable to write in the language of Dante, congratulates me and explains the three reasons why my answer is "brilliant":

Well, you're less stupid than I thought, you know! Let me reassure you, I couldn't care less, it's just that I find its answer very interesting. Read it before doing like most of those who gripe without knowing, who judge without knowing the causes:

• Life is a game of letting go,
  life is a self to let go of.

There is a film about a penitentiary security expert who tests the effectiveness of super-maximum security prisons by posing as an inmate. He is told of a prison reputed to be impenetrable and inescapable. He takes up the challenge, having himself incarcerated. Through deep observation, great patience and remarkable skill, he manages to find the flaws that finally allow him to escape from this prison.

What if life were just a prison reputed to be impenetrable and inescapable, from which it is difficult to escape, even when we are shown the flaw? A prison whose challenge we have all taken up by entering it, only to then try to escape from it? A challenge made all the more thorny because we forget even these two facts:

• that we are in a prison
• that the goal is to get out

In this prison of life, there is only a tiny handful of inmates wise enough to understand that:

• they are imprisoned
• there is a flaw, an exit, a liberation
• such a path does not lead to escape
• such a path leads to escape

Those capable of achieving it are even rarer.

We probably did not choose this challenge. Otherwise, it would have been a perverse choice, and moreover not even a choice between existing in one way or another, but simply: "to exist or not to exist?" Out of pure curiosity, anyone would choose to exist! Not knowing existence, no one would suspect that it is better not to exist! There is no peace more perfect than the cessation of existence. The latter may offer a few fleeting thrills, but like a carpet that gathers all the dust, it accumulates problems, misfortunes, dangers, sorrows and frustrations of all kinds.

And the paradox is that if we had the opportunity to choose between existing or not, it would mean we already exist; which is why the question cannot be asked. That is why the question cannot be "to be or not to be?", but rather "to continue to be or to no longer be?"

Only the blind like you think that life is worth so much trouble to be lived. And even if they enjoy a comfortable life, it is only a brief truce in the midst of existences that often prove far more painful. Those who preach the "beauty of life" are drowned in the illusions of their oh-so-wretched sensory pleasures.

Everyone is free… in the prison! Free to remain perpetually incarcerated… or to free themselves. So my dear Kassinou, if you prefer to savor your little cake with gusto – sweet for a few seconds, excrement for hours – more power to you! But you will be welcome if you change your mind and wish to join the tiny group of those who work to find the discreet door of liberation… Before it is too late, for it is extremely rare (in time and place) to find inmates wise enough to guide you toward complete freedom.

What is the best moment? I mean a moment that, in one's existence, in one's daily life, surpasses all others.

Of course, as the Buddha so rightly stated, and there is ample material to meditate on daily with this sentence:

• Just as a trace of excrement, however small, smells bad, a moment of any existence whatsoever, however small, is not to be recommended.

In short, even what is perceived as the most intense happiness is still nothing better than crap! Otherwise, why would the wise (those who have understood reality, not the ones you see on YouTube) aspire only to free themselves from all worlds? The idea I propose today, insofar as we are still imprisoned in sensory experience, is to prefer one moment among the memories of our lived experience.

For my part, it would be utterly foolish to think of the sensations generated by copulation. It appears to me as a fireworks display of mental pollution, a dense amalgam of blindness and greed (if sex is strictly prohibited in monastic practice, it is precisely for this reason). Pity for all those lost souls who wander in the vicious trap of "romanticism", the ultimate goal of which is nothing but animalistic behavior consisting of hiding for an interaction of rubbing, pressing and inserting their hairy, oozing and foul-smelling meat carcasses, all nerves tense, veins swollen, a sorry spectacle of a ugliness that would shock any innocent soul, exacerbated by pathetic groans of submission and domination, all resulting in an impressive waste of energy that extinguishes the mind and turns bodies into flabby, sweaty, sperm-scented zombies.

Such a description of the sexual act is probably far from meeting with the approval of the vast majority of adult humans, which is quite understandable when you know that they live almost only for that. Yet any honest mind with a vision not too embellished (hence not too distorted) of things will see this description as quite in line with reality. If this experience – which has no equal for disturbing, tainting and corrupting the peace of the mind – were so "beautiful", why would it be so censored?

The moment in life that in my heart deserves the position of "best moment" will not be a moment of "tasting delicious food" either. Here again, whoever is not afraid to scratch the embellishing paint will see that food (even mom's best dish!) is only (depending on whether it goes into the mouth or not, whether it comes out or not) decay in the making, excrement in the making, or vomit in the making (besides, most of the time we don't vomit, which means that this vomit stays inside us all day). Regarding meat, let us not forget that even before consuming it, it is already nothing but a piece of corpse. Here again, under the dictatorship of one's own desire, culinary activities are idealized and elevated to the rank of the best "pastimes".

Receiving a large sum of money? Everyone agrees with the saying "Money does not buy happiness", but everyone acts as if money did buy happiness. However, what money generally brings is first excitement, then problems.

I will not dwell further on the illusions generated around visual, auditory or olfactory sensations, nor even mental ones, such as social bonds, to name just one, because all without exception are sources of dissatisfaction, not a single one, therefore, is worth attaching oneself to.

So, good heavens! you will say to me, what then is for me the best moment in this life where nothing is worth living?

The moment I place at the top of the podium of the best moments is the moment when I wake up fresh as a daisy in the morning. The awakening short of Enlightenment. "Fresh as a daisy" – that is, with a light mind, without fatigue, fresh energy. Since we are stuck in this body, what could be better than "feeling good"? For me, feeling fit, with a mind free from any worry, even stripped of everything, is better than possessing billions and powers, but with even a small weight or a small stain in the mind.

I love this first moment of the morning, when the mind is not yet taken up by ongoing activities. Naturally, the ideal is to succeed in extending this moment as much as possible throughout the day, to live like a flower that nothing can wither. A reiteration of this empty mind, a mind that does nothing, a mind that is and that's all. It is almost a foretaste of the cessation of phenomena, insofar as one dares to speak of "taste". A foretaste of where there is nothing left to taste.

Read the following text carefully, which I have just composed to illustrate my point:

• I will never tire of contemplating her when, with an assumed nonchalance, she fully exhibits her nudity. Without fearing the wind or the icy breeze, she offers herself to me entirely. Why me? I am the only man around, the only one to savor her beatific beauty. Without any need for words, her arms stretched toward the sky, she invites me to penetrate her without any restriction. As I cannot and will not resist her call, for my greatest happiness, I enter her, slowly and peacefully. The experience is sublime, it brings me renewed energy. Thus, I repeat it almost every day. How could I live without her, my beautiful forest?

Now imagine that this text comes from a relatively reliable translation, but not entirely, because the last word would have been understood slightly differently, and consequently replaced by another, designating a slightly less rooted creature… In this way, the interpretation of a text can easily take on a meaning far removed from the original intention. All the more so in the case of a dead language with numerous subtleties, such as Pali. And as the above example has just proven, a single poorly restored term can disfigure, transform, demolish an entire section of text, just as a poorly placed card can reduce the most beautiful house of cards to nothing.

Thus it is that, to name just one example, entire monastic communities in "Buddhist countries" firmly maintain the idea that there is no interval between death and the following birth, whereas the Buddha clearly stated that not only is there indeed an interval between two lives, but it turns out to be generally longer than life itself!

One misunderstands the meaning of the word "forest", and an entire people begins to believe in a completely different story! In the case of this example, the misconception is also influenced by the experience of meditators who see their past lives without the intermediate periods. They deduce that what they do not see does not exist, like those who do not believe in the existence of dreams because they do not remember them. Well! Back to our reality-distorting sheep…

It is therefore important to bear in mind that we can never fully rely on the fidelity of the texts that reach us, which are supposed to carry the teachings of the Blessed One. Hence the importance of acquiring, as much as possible, through renunciation and contemplation, the capacity for discernment, common sense, correct and reasonable vision of things. Direct inner experience (vigilance in the present moment, contemplation of phenomena, penetrating introspection) greatly helps not to get entangled in:

• the trap of superficial interpretations
• the confusion due to contradictions
• doubt concerning one's practice, a teacher, a path
• the misconception that such a sterile practice leads to Deliverance and the misconception that such a liberating practice does not lead to Deliverance
• the vain and endless spiral of sectarian quarrels and squabbles

Do you know the "three poisons"? Probably yes, but do you really know them? The mental poisons, which the Buddha calls lobha, dosa (aversion) and moha, are the root of all the world's problems. They are responsible for all your worries, misfortunes and problems! Just as cyan, magenta and yellow are the primary colors at the base of all the colors of the rainbow, these three poisons are the basis of all forms of dissatisfaction (misunderstanding, frustration, conflict, jealousy, cruelty, anxiety, slavery, etc.)

Brief reminder of the three mental poisons

Greed (lobha)

When an emotion is formed, greed is an element that pushes toward a pleasant concept. It is the idea of moving toward something, of forcing toward what attracts, of attaching, of clinging, of sticking.

Aversion (dosa)

When an emotion is formed, aversion is an element that rejects an unpleasant concept. It is the idea of fleeing, of pushing away, of hating, of refusing, of feeling hostility.

Blindness (moha)

When an emotion is formed, blindness is an element that conceals the process. It is the idea of ignoring, of disregarding consequences, of letting oneself go into carelessness, of idealizing, of fantasizing, of deluding oneself.

Emotion is always an unhealthy thing. Without mental poison, emotion is no longer constructed; the mind simply remains in "right view", that is, the correct vision of reality.

Who told you that love was an emotion? Of course, it all depends on which "love" we are talking about. There are two things that we must be very careful not to confuse. For example, when a woman falls in love with a man, gets all worked up, crazy with excitement and suddenly crazy with rage or despair when that man rejects her, then in this case, it is obviously an emotion manufactured from raw materials such as desire, excitement and attachment.

In healthy, pure, unconditional benevolence, there is no emotion, so no disappointment, lack or dissatisfaction is possible. One can speak of a healthy "feeling" or "state of mind", but not of an "emotion". Emotion is the fruit of mental poisons, the kilesas.

The anti-poisons

The anti-poisons are the opposite attitude, which consists of no longer generating emotion, instead developing beneficial states of mind.

Anti-poison for greed

Contentment, detachment, restraint, being satisfied with little, renunciation. When we speak of "renouncing", it is not in the sense of "throwing in the towel", but rather of "letting go of and doing without what is not essential to a noble way of life in accordance with wisdom (pañña)". Such an attitude offers great advantages.

• Being free from fear and anxiety.
• Not suffering from lack.
• Easily knowing happiness.
• Having a peaceful mind.

Anti-poison for aversion

Benevolence, tolerance, attention toward others, understanding, acceptance, help, generosity. Such an attitude also offers valuable advantages.

• Absence of conflict.
• Inner peace.
• Protection and appreciation from others.
• Well-being.

Anti-poison for blindness

Vigilance (over one's perceptions, states of mind…), inner introspection, development of right view, deep reflection with the aim of seeking to understand reality. Here again, the advantages are supreme.

• Dispelling confusion.
• Understanding what is appropriate to do.
• Development of Wisdom.
• Progress toward spiritual Awakening.

Pañña is the very heart of the Buddha's teaching. The problem is that not only does no word exist in English to translate it, but moreover, whoever has not cultivated it deeply is unable to understand it.

My poor Kassinou, it is precisely with such a misconception that countless ignorant people across all religions (starting with Buddhism) are convinced they have "attained Awakening". Wisdom, which is certainly an excellent thing, means a certain clear-sightedness about existence, a reasonable and humble state of mind, a certain self-mastery, at best a degree of spiritual maturity. It is the opposite of madness, which drives men to wallow body and soul in sensory pleasures.

The term "sagacity" is already closer to the meaning of pañña, but it is like the second floor of a Nepalese building being closer to Mount Everest than the first floor.

As for pañña, not having yet been able to develop it properly, I can only attempt to provide a vague definition. It is a knowledge – in the sense of understanding – of reality as it truly is. The problem is that everyone takes THEIR own vision of reality for THE reality. Seeing THE reality is far from easy, since there are so many mental filters – modifiers, distorters, maskers and embellishers – that one must manage to get rid of.

With pañña, one knows perfectly well that sensory pleasures lead only to misery. One therefore naturally turns away from even the slightest of them. Pañña shows even the slightest attachment, the slightest moment of existence – even the most peaceful, the most beatific and the most divine of all – as completely devoid of interest.

As an aside, it is precisely when one begins to glimpse that sensory and mental pleasures – hence everything that constitutes the desire for life! – offer no stable benefits, but only heavy disadvantages, that interest in renunciation and meditation arises, not before!

These three terms summarize the entire practice taught by the Blessed One; the path leading to the end of all troubles, to the ultimate fulfillment: nibbāna, the unconditioned.

• Sīla, impeccable conduct, right behavior in every situation, refraining from harming anyone.
• Samādhi, one-pointed focus, perfect mental tranquility.
• Pañña, deep knowledge of the mind, precise vision behind the great veil that blinds all beings (from the smallest bacteria to the greatest gods).

And what is the thing that allows one to develop pañña? I'll give you a thousand guesses: attention! One can also say that pañña takes root in right view (which, precisely, is generated by attention).